Live

by Drew Mazur

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released April 20, 2018

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Drew Mazur Ridgefield, Connecticut

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Track Name: Just a Waste of Saturday (Heartbeat Version Live)
driving down the highway, wondering if I’d see you somewhere passing by
the shades of black skidded tires show themselves as I put these fears aside
taking chances: I can’t take any chances with the sounds I hear
wish I could say I’m sorry for the news I gave which hurt us this year

I queried if you’d say that every thought I had was a mistake

I have no need for the fancy colors schemes of fall if you’re not there
they tell me there’s a law that I must cut the ties for good, but I don’t care
the trees speak peace that the monarchy of everyday life takes away

they ask, “where are you going? where have you traveled, today?”

and they’re all alike, but as for me, I’m not one to steal your life so easily

driving towards the city, wondering if this drive is just a waste of Saturday
if I see you somewhere along the way, that’s nice, but I know we’re done, anyway
Track Name: Big Eyes (Live)
Why do I value my failures
More than my successes?
I see you at the bar stool
In a ball cap, in your messes
And you don’t have to dress
However they tell you to

The atmosphere
When you’re in here
Let a drunken phrase
Slip into my ear

Honey, let’s shake off
The pretense of this hideaway
I will think of these
A thousand faces
Faces away

These big eyes

We can talk in platonic warmth
While we feel this out
But when your head’s over my shoulder
Making me sweat like fire’s hunger
Feeling this out
Brace yourself for a waterfall

Honey, let’s shake off
The pretense of this hideaway
I will think of these
A thousand faces
Faces away

These big eyes

When you’re feeling salty
Don’t let them tread you down
‘Cause even though it’s off the cuff
I’ll be frequently about
These big eyes

Brace yourself for a waterfall

Why do I value my failures
More than my successes?
Track Name: Adagio for Stings (Live)
teach me how to break the mold
of an elder man in a younger role
“you’re better than this”
you said, which I dismissed

Foreshadowed is tomorrow’s sun
which I delayed with cola and rum
punch-drunk with shame

I reached down and
touched the earth, where I paid
homage to her pain. but I
used that pain for fame, thrust my
other friends away, took a
drag from her smoke. in the
fumes of it, I laid

an adagio for stings
a child prays for a friend on his knees
lo and behold, the
looking-glass bowl with the candlelit soul he
perceives

must have been an impuissant soul
on my birthday, 22 years old
siphoned rashness into my veins

pictured her there, hospital gowned
eternally woken, tattered rufous crown
head over heels

should I take the tonsure now that she’s
gone for good?
I know what you would say, “thieve
just without the take. take those
idols off your walls; they only
decorate your shame”

a sad scene bleeds true, when she
pushes me away, it pushes me from you
maybe that’s why decent men lose?
so before I lie
see if she took someone strange tonight. she was
born to be brave, and I
was born to remain with
an indebted heart that behaves
Track Name: Shelter Me (Live)
there is no astral shine
from a makeshift prison cell
grandchild of hikikomori, just as
naïve as before

you shelter me from yourself, a
mourner who’s living out
their final days

I know it seems backhanded advice, since our
histories say otherwise, but I
don’t need a warden to choose what our
amity is drifting towards. I
know shackles grind to the bone in a
blood-red halo

I’ve been cut off from you, the
drug overdosed on one
December. we both
speak of the past as
if it defines who we
are now, but it
doesn’t. no it won’t

you protect me from yourself, a
misanthrope departed

there is no astral shine
Track Name: Just a Waste of Saturday (Live)
driving down the highway, wondering if I’d see you somewhere passing by
the shades of black skidded tires show themselves as I put these fears aside
taking chances: I can’t take any chances with the sounds I hear
wish I could say I’m sorry for the news I gave which hurt us this year

I queried if you’d say that every thought I had was a mistake

I have no need for the fancy colors schemes of fall if you’re not there
they tell me there’s a law that I must cut the ties for good, but I don’t care
the trees speak peace that the monarchy of everyday life takes away

they ask, “where are you going? where have you traveled, today?”

and they’re all alike, but as for me, I’m not one to steal your life so easily

driving towards the city, wondering if this drive is just a waste of Saturday
if I see you somewhere along the way, that’s nice, but I know we’re done, anyway

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