Ennui

by Drew Mazur

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1.
03:43
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04:26
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released November 10, 2017

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Drew Mazur Ridgefield, Connecticut

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Track Name: My Home
My lady, I’ll be bringing
All my cents
Along with me
When I go
On the train with a rose
Sweet-lemon soul
I’ll meet you in Manhattan streets

The lines that sag below my eyes
Are a hist’ry only you realize

You’re my little pilgrim
From another place to be
Don’t you know I’ll rendezvous with you
Across the largest sea
You’ve convinced me I will
Make you my home

A new kiss, soft as jazz, hard as stone
In my lover’s hold
Where the spirits can let us atone

The toffee skin around your eyes
Is a story only I will realize

You’re my little pilgrim
From a distant memory
You’ve convinced me I will
Make you my home

So never be afraid
Of the changing winds that roam
(One moment, you sit in my car
And then I have to watch you go)
Take me home… take me home

You’re my little pilgrim
From another place to be
Don’t you know I’ll rendezvous with you
Across the largest sea
You’ve convinced me I will
Make you my home

My lady
I’ll be bringing all my cents
Along with me
Track Name: Daughter of the Wind
She has no one
Who tells her so
Where, when and why to let go
Like her cigarette smoke
Drifting into the night, she drifts
Up into the moonlight
And no one may direct her flight

Got on a train to the
Good feeling you once knew when
She brought you into her room
Brought you into the sheets of her bed
Though you will give her your grace
Don’t expect her bowing praise
She doesn’t see you as defaced
She sees you as the hands she’s embraced

How much love before she turns around?
How many changes 'til the gale calms down?
How many storms because you were too proud?
How much time will she give you?
Kiss you
The daughter of the wind

Don’t abolish the power of the
Passion she’s procured me
She can take me and carve me out
In little stars to garnish the sun
Sister of another breath
I’ve had no other precedent
Her sentiments leave me abraded
My I-don’t-knows can drive her crazy

How much time can I keep her safe
Until she drifts among the winds again?
How many words will I wish I’d said?
How much time will she give me?
Kiss me
The daughter of the wind

Daughter of the wind, I’m fine
Daughter of the wind, I need you in my life
Don’t turn around
Don’t blow away into the wind
As others did

How much time can I keep her safe
Until she drifts among the winds again?
How many words will I wish I’d said?
How much time will she give me?
Kiss me
The daughter of the wind

She'll give you fire
To nurse your bones
A beauty that fuels your hormones
Track Name: Big Eyes
Why do I value my failures
More than my successes?
I see you at the bar stool
In a ball cap, in your messes
And you don’t have to dress
However they tell you to

The atmosphere
When you’re in here
Let a drunken phrase
Slip into my ear

Honey, let’s shake off
The pretense of this hideaway
I will think of these
A thousand faces
Faces away

These big eyes

We can talk in platonic warmth
While we feel this out
But when your head’s over my shoulder
Making me sweat like fire’s hunger
Feeling this out
Brace yourself for a waterfall

Honey, let’s shake off
The pretense of this hideaway
I will think of these
A thousand faces
Faces away

These big eyes

When you’re feeling salty
Don’t let them tread you down
‘Cause even though it’s off the cuff
I’ll be frequently about
These big eyes

Brace yourself for a waterfall

Why do I value my failures
More than my successes?
Track Name: Adagio For Stings
Teach me how to break the mold
of an elder man in a younger role.
“You’re better than this,”
you said, which I dismissed.

Foreshadowed is tomorrow’s sun,
which I delayed with cola and rum,
punch-drunk with shame.

I reached down and
touched the earth, where I had paid
homage to her pain. But I
used that pain for fame, thrust my
other friends away, took a
drag from her smoke. In the
fumes of it, I laid.

An adagio for stings,
a child prays for a friend on his knees.
Lo and behold, the
looking-glass bowl with the candlelit soul he
perceives.

Must have been an impuissant soul
on my birthday, 22 years old,
siphoned rashness into my veins,

Picture her there, hospital gowned,
eternally woken, tattered rufous crown,
head over heels.

Should I take the tonsure now that she’s
gone for good?
But I know what you would say, “thieve
just without the take. Take those
idols off your wall; they only
decorate your shame.”

A sad scene bleeds true, when she
pushes me away, it pushes me from you.
Maybe that’s why decent men lose?

So before I lie,
see if she took someone strange tonight. She was
born to be brave, and I
was born to remain with
an indebted hearts that behaves.

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