Ennui

by Drew Mazur

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1.
My Home 03:43
My lady, I’ll be bringing All my cents Along with me When I go On the train with a rose Sweet-lemon soul I’ll meet you in Manhattan streets The lines that sag below my eyes Are a history only you realize You’re my little pilgrim From another place to be Don’t you know I’ll rendezvous with you Across the largest sea You’ve convinced me I will Make you my home A new kiss, soft as jazz, hard as stone In my lover’s hold Where the spirits can let us atone The toffee skin around your eyes Is a story only I will realize You’re my little pilgrim From a distant memory You’ve convinced me I will Make you my home So never be afraid Of the changing winds that roam (One moment, you sit in my car And then I have to watch you go) Take me home… take me home You’re my little pilgrim From another place to be Don’t you know I’ll rendezvous with you Across the largest sea You’ve convinced me I will Make you my home My lady I’ll be bringing all my cents Along with me
2.
She has no one Who tells her so Where, when and why to let go Like her cigarette smoke Drifting into the night, she drifts Up into the moonlight And no one may direct her flight Got on a train to the Good feeling you once knew when She brought you into her room Brought you into the sheets of her bed Though you will give her your grace Don’t expect her bowing praise She doesn’t see you as defaced She sees you as the hands she’s embraced How much love before she turns around? How many changes 'til the gale calms down? How many storms because you were too proud? How much time will she give you? Kiss you The daughter of the wind Don’t abolish the power of the Passion she’s procured me She can take me and carve me out In little stars to garnish the sun Sister of another breath I’ve had no other precedent Her sentiments leave me abraded My I-don’t-knows can drive her crazy How much time can I keep her safe Until she drifts among the winds again? How many words will I wish I’d said? How much time will she give me? Kiss me The daughter of the wind Daughter of the wind, I’m fine Daughter of the wind, I need you in my life Don’t turn around Don’t blow away into the wind As others did How much time can I keep her safe Until she drifts among the winds again? How many words will I wish I’d said? How much time will she give me? Kiss me The daughter of the wind She'll give you fire To nurse your bones A beauty that fuels your hormones
3.
Big Eyes 04:26
Why do I value my failures More than my successes? I see you at the bar stool In a ball cap, in your messes And you don’t have to dress However they tell you to The atmosphere When you’re in here Let a drunken phrase Slip into my ear Honey, let’s shake off The pretense of this hideaway I will think of these A thousand faces Faces away These big eyes We can talk in platonic warmth While we feel this out But when your head’s over my shoulder Making me sweat like fire’s hunger Feeling this out Brace yourself for a waterfall Honey, let’s shake off The pretense of this hideaway I will think of these A thousand faces Faces away These big eyes When you’re feeling salty Don’t let them tread you down ‘Cause even though it’s off the cuff I’ll be frequently about These big eyes Brace yourself for a waterfall Why do I value my failures More than my successes?
4.
Teach me how to break the mold of an elder man in a younger role. “You’re better than this,” you said, which I dismissed. Foreshadowed is tomorrow’s sun, which I delayed with cola and rum, punch-drunk with shame. I reached down and touched the earth, where I had paid homage to her pain. But I used that pain for fame, thrust my other friends away, took a drag from her smoke. In the fumes of it, I laid. An adagio for stings, a child prays for a friend on his knees. Lo and behold, the looking-glass bowl with the candlelit soul he perceives. Must have been an impuissant soul on my birthday, 22 years old, siphoned rashness into my veins, Picture her there, hospital gowned, eternally woken, tattered rufous crown, head over heels. Should I take the tonsure now that she’s gone for good? But I know what you would say, “thieve just without the take. Take those idols off your wall; they only decorate your shame.” A sad scene bleeds true, when she pushes me away, it pushes me from you. Maybe that’s why decent men lose? So before I lie, see if she took someone strange tonight. She was born to be brave, and I was born to remain with an indebted hearts that behaves.
5.
Road Narrows 03:37
Signs that say the road, it narrows Driving to my girlfriend's place Guess that life it has a way of Narrowing the paths we take Crossing over Cuomo bridge and Taking in the troposphere Guess that we all cross a bridge That saves us or confirms our fears Suck the marrow out of life and Burn a flag on the roadway If you are a traveler, I promise you a warm place to stay Signs that say the road, it narrows Thought I had more choices in life But I found as you work more the deeper into you goes the knife I will find a way to you love Even if the bridge falls down In the end, I hope I change And don a new redemptive crown I'm the champion of my inhibitions I'm a road runner I'll leave my jurisdiction For you Signs that say the road, it narrows Driving to our love's embrace Guess that life it has a way of Narrowing the paths we take You're the champion of your inhibitions You're a road runner Leave your jurisdiction
6.
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released January 1, 2020

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Drew Mazur Ridgefield, Connecticut

Drew Mazur is a songwriter, composer and English teacher.

Drew was trained in jazz saxophone, but is also a mostly self-taught pianist. Drew’s music combines a mellow yet angsty personality with his jazz background, melodic indie arrangements and pensive lyrics. He released his first mastered EP, Ennui, in 2017 with the help of co-producer and engineer DTronic. ... more

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